How to Respond to "When are You Getting Married?" | Survival Kit Series | By S.Sulianah

Hi Everyone. I am writing this next survival guide kit for anyone out there who needs some ideas to defend yourselves or is annoyed with the same question from people around you over and over again. And also there was this request from one of my social media comments requesting how to handle people who keep asking question "When are you getting married?" or sometimes them being extra smart telling you to get married. 

Before I start, it seems like this is not a one race or one country or one culture's dilemma. Apparently, it is a universal issue faced by individuals doesn't matter age, race and origin. 

When this question is raised to you "When are you getting married?" or telling you it is time for you to get married. The  scenario you will faced is this question is being asked by your close relatives, long-distanced relatives who you met once in couple of years or could be your friends doesn't matter close or not.

These are several ways you can reply. I had tried these at different occasions, and it works well.
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1. Like genuinely say, "I am not ready", or "I haven't find the right ones". These are like the mellow down replies. 
2. Smile and don't reply to the question. Ignoring or keeping quiet is at times better to show to the other person that you don't like that question.
3. You can also reply either with a smile or not, depending on you and the situation you are in with, "I am already married." or "I am already married recently but did not invite you or anyone," Then, they will be like What? I need to talk to your parents. So, let them talk if they dare to. hahahaha ... 
4. Basic generic questionable reply, "I am not interested." Is like a sentence that could be you are not interested in getting married but you have someone already in your life, or it could be you are not interested to get married cause of commitments, or it could be merely you are not interested to get married because of any reasons. 
5. Or if you are really daring you can also reply like these ... "I am not interested in getting married with a man/woman" or "It is illegal to get married here." or "I need to go to another country to get married"
6. "I am already married with 5 kids". I did this before to 2 strangers who out of nowhere asked me this question a couple of years ago.
7. If someone says to you to pray so you can get a partner faster, what I did was I said "Yes, I did pray. If not, I would have gotten married 10 or 15 years ago." This conversation was with my uncle years ago. Then he asked, "Huh, what you mean?". I said, I prayed, "If the person I go out with is not for me, please don't waste our time going out and hanging out with each other. Well, God knows better than you do." That was how the conversation goes. And it was both a genius way of replying which was also true at that time. Then I ended the conversation with him, "Please don't ask me this kind of question again. I don't like it. If you want, we can talk about something else instead." It works and my uncle is still talking to me and he did not asked me that kind of question anymore.
8. Recently, a friend whom I usually hangout with for about a decade, out of nowhere broke the protocol of telling me, she was not even asking me. She said, "Now that you know how to cook, it is time for you to get married." I was like Fuck you! Then I replied, "Why are you acting like the old generations telling people to get married?" I was really pissed off. She added fuel on that day. I acted cool, but I was not. Anyway, she made it easier for me to decide not to hangout with them anymore. Yeah, I am this kind of individual. If people are toxic, disrespectful and not thinking about other's feelings like in this way, I will find reasons or sometimes no need to find, they will give me in the platter to decide easily and to this extent. I am considered having a very good level of patience but when a person pressed one button, I don't care who they are and how long we have known each other, my decision will be instant. Be brave and prioritize your own happiness whenever you decide on something that is similar to this.
9. Another method is to change the topic. You can say, "Hey do you know that I just graduated from my Masters recently?" or "Hey, do you know that you can donate clothes to a children's charity through my company?" I have not tried this yet because recently no one has been or has dared to ask me this question anymore. I might try this soon. 
10. Also, there is another way which is more on managing your energy in repelling a person or questions that you might foresee they will ask, based on your past conversations with them or experiences with people. When a family member or friend approaches you to chat as usual, in your heart, just tell yourself that this person should not ask any question related to marriage. Then, you can make your face a bit serious so they will think twice to ask. And also, you can come out with a subject to discuss instead of them coming out with the topic. Like you can talk about where have they been travelling for work if you know he or she is a frequent traveler for work. Talk about them. This will make them happy because you are interested in knowing about them, and they will not have the chance to chat or ask about you. 
11. Sometimes, you can visualize an energy bubble to protect you from negative things and people. This is at another level though. I seldom use this method consciously. It will be there whenever needed. 

Remember this. We cannot control others, but we can control ourselves, our decisions and how we analyze everything that we encounter when we communicate with another person. And remember not to do the same thing that you don't want others to do to you. Think before asking another person a question. 

If you are extracting these points for your article(s), please remember to quote my name as the writer (S.Sulianah), and my website link (www.ctsulianah.com). Thank you!