This is one of the poems featured in Letters of a Thousand Speeches book by S.Sulianah
"When I told you I could write hundreds of letters filled with a
thousand speeches, what I meant was I have done it since the day
we met again seven years ago.
Your kindness, attention, protectiveness, wit and curiosity have lit
up my life. Every time you smile, it seeps into my mind, begging
to be in my memory.
The way you laughed and how you hid that beautiful shy smile
puts me to sleep at night.
I thought I had lost all this seven years ago. And then you came
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Hi Everyone. I am writing this next survival guide kit for anyone out there who needs some ideas to defend yourselves or is annoyed with the same question from people around you over and over again. And also there was this request from one of my social media comments requesting how to handle people who keep asking question "When are you getting married?" or sometimes them being extra smart telling you to get married.
Before I start, it seems like this is not a one race or one country or one culture's dilemma. Apparently, it is a universal issue faced by individuals doesn't matter age, race and origin.
When this question is raised to you "When are you getting married?" or telling you it is time for you to get married. The scenario you will faced is this question is being asked by your close relatives, long-distanced relatives who you met once in couple of years or could be your friends doesn't matter close or not.
These are several ways you can reply. I had tried these at different occasions, and it works well.
Remember this. We cannot control others, but we can control ourselves, our decisions and how we analyze everything that we encounter when we communicate with another person. And remember not to do the same thing that you don't want others to do to you. Think before asking another person a question.
If you are extracting these points for your article(s), please remember to quote my name as the writer (S.Sulianah), and my website link (www.ctsulianah.com). Thank you!
I have written this how to be happy article is because I just found that this seems to be a hot search topic. Furthermore, I noticed that everyone has different experiences and lifestyle so this write-up might or might not be practical. The ones that I listed here and talk about in one of my podcasts, Grapholistic Podcast, is to motivate individuals to have the courage to realize that happiness is within themselves. It is all in there, within you. There is no need to search for it in someone else or in any part of the world. Happiness is inhibited within you. You only need to resurfaced that feelings.
The first and foremost step is to be self-aware of your own character and personality. The foundation step to realizing and knowing about yourself. What you like and the triggers that could test your patience. Learning about your character is part of this step which will take some time for you to be comfortable with who you are. The results of this process can also be a defense mechanism when you encounter with challenges in your life.
Secondly, is be aware of the surrounding which means that you have to self-reflect on the presence around you including other living entity such as the trees, animals, insects and humans. These could then develop you to feel at peace and also know that you are not alone. You will feel lighter when you have any problems.
Third step. This step is such a sensitive part to highlight but I find that it has been a pattern and consistent in my life when I deal with people. I realized recently too from posts in social media that this is a global human concerns --- Trust. Trusting someone and also be a person who is trustworthy.
Sometimes, you feel like you can trust strangers more than your family or friends because you know that hardly you will see them again. They might share your story to others but high probability those are not the people you know. Recently, I encountered with a situation on trust and I responded it in a way that those group of friends did not anticipated. I am considered a person with patience. Which means, I can stand and close one eye with remarks or comments that are unpleasant to me for years or for decades. It is not healthy but some things that I don't see everyday, I can mold it to be shifted in the unnecessary category in my life.
Recently, which is a couple months ago, there was this situation when I told this friend (@Emma) not to tell another friend (@Maya) first about the t-shirt which Maya gifted us because I couldn't fit in. I planned to actually take the design and make it into a t-shirt of my size so I can wear it later. Specifically, I told Emma not to tell Maya first because I do not want to hurt Maya's feelings until I told her myself. The reason I told Emma was because this group of friends planned to wear this shirt in our next outing. And guess what.. Emma told Maya. I found this out from Maya herself which she asked me in a nice way. I like Maya and did not want to hurt her but instead I planned to surprise her with my idea of making it into another shirt. And I was not pissed off with her. That was like the first within that 2 months Emma broke my trust.
Then, subsequently, Emma behaved similarly by telling Maya again on the day I rented a car to drive to Maya's house for a birthday celebration. I found this out when Maya told me to drive safely on that day. I was like how did you know? And she emoji smiled at me. The only person who knows is Emma because we planned to surprise Maya and another friend of ours for their birthday. That day was like the maximum patience I had. Not counting the unpleasant time and friction I have been saving for the past 2 to 3 months.
I totally forgotten about Emma's character which was told by a mutual friend about 20 years ago. This friend told me that Emma is a person with a big mouth and not to be trusted. Like I said, I prefer not to judge and evaluate a person by someone else's experience. And when it happened to me, it was something else. I had my patience in checked in the first incident, until something else happened right after that which pinned my bubble of patience.
This surprisingly did affect my happiness during that time, like a trigger to my patience which I had set for the past years when with them. Things that I kept it well-packed thinking that it is small released this trigger. I could feel the friction on our last two gatherings. I am a sensitive person in this way which means I could feel if something is not right about a person, or when I am with another person. At times, I will ignore but most of the times when the condition is consistent, I will make immediate decisions.
The story to learn here is it doesn't matter how long you have known a person. But once they break your trust, you have to make sure you do something to it instead of being in that relationship and 'try to endure it'. Frankly, and luckily I have never share any of my secrets or about me since we were friends for the past decades. With this group of friends, I have been extra careful. Normally, I will be affectionate with friends I hangout with but not these two excluding Maya. Maya is not in this picture. So, I tried for years but I couldn't say words like 'I Miss You all' or 'I love You all' or even anything about my opinions and anything I experienced. There is always some gap and signal to avoid saying it out loud whenever I feel like telling them anything. Well, seems like my guts and instinct are accurate.
About 20 years ago, a friend who I used to hangout with did the same too. She broke my trust with her fantasy story. More of this detailed story in my podcast. That time, I had confronted her, she denied. But that doesn't stopped me from leaving the friendship and not to waste my time to hang around with her. We were friends but I avoid hanging out with her. And again, it was another gut feeling that proves to me that my reaction was a right step. Because recently, she did say something which I made sure I did not say it out loud to her throughout our friendship comparing to what our mutual friends will say to her. Well, this time, I had to be brave again and did a total cut-off. But the reason this time was about respect and how sometimes people don't care about how we feel, which I also talked about in my podcast.
My type of person is once I am committed to leaving, I will do 100% and never turning back. I will not block you in social media but I will block your phone number because it is annoying. My patience level when I am an adult is not as much as last time, or I can say, I have seen too much in life that I am now more courageous to act on it. If you have friends like me or whoever in your life like this, don't take it lightly and don't take advantage of them. If you want people to respect you, make sure you respect them first.
Apart from that, if someone tells you something, a story about them or their concerns, don't use it for your advantage. Meaning that you should not ever use it as sarcasm when communicating with each other. A few days ago, a friend I normally keep in touch with by letters even though we stay in the same country, used it in his text to me. I knew what he was implying but I acted as if I don't have any idea what he is trying to say. Again, I actually was contemplating whether to tell him about something. And he also is not the kind who can keep secrets. This is based on my personal experience with him when we were studying for our diploma together. But he is the type of person who is somewhat like genuine. He reminds me of my friend, Hans, who is also this style. Cannot keep secrets until you say keep it a secret. But because they are like the innocent decent type that is why I can still consider to tell stories to them. But the difference between him and the previous cases were, this friend of mine gets it real quick. He quickly said I am sorry just ignore the message (I planned to tell him in my next letter hahahaa). Comparing to the other two situations, they will never know the reasons until they read this. So, that is the difference.
And also people ... I hated this sentence (text messages I received from the first 2 situations), "If I did or say something wrong to you, I apologize". Fuck you, guys. Stop throwing this anyhow you like. Firstly, why apologize when you don't know what was the reason you are apologizing for? Secondly, I don't think you mean it because you don't know what it is about and so you will still do it again. Well, one of them did it again years later. Lastly, I am not interested anymore. You can live without me, and I am still alive without you.
Also, learn to build this trustworthy character within you. It is actually a charm and an exemplary character that could make people be comfortable with you and be with you. I have friends who told me secrets and I have never told anyone even when we don't keep in touch anymore. Some of those friends had told me that they are inclined to chatting with me because of how I can keep secrets and stories. And yes, this is one of the communication skills that you need to start to build because it is a principled trait for personal and business use.
Forth, stop comparing yourself with others. Doesn't matter in which perspectives, be sure that you focus on yourself instead of others. This includes comparing yourself with your siblings, relatives and friends. That is why the first step is so important which is building the architecture of your foundation. When I was about 12 years old, my mom used to compare me with my best friend who was also my neighbor during that time. Then, when I was about 16 or 17 years old, she started to do the same again with someone else and I told her if you like that person so much, you can take her as your daughter. Since then, she did not compare me with anyone.
Fifth, please please remember to appreciate and be grateful with your accomplishments. Be grateful. And whenever you attained something in your life, reward yourself. It could be small tasks or goals that you have set in a day-to-day basis or it could be the large scale goals. As long as you remember to give yourself a pat on your shoulder and congratulate yourself, you will be motivated to live your life everyday. Rely on yourself and not on others to congratulate you.
Ten years ago, my morning motivational clock were a friend and my office neighbor. I used to hangout with my friend/classmate in MSN chat room years ago. PS. She is now one of my closest friends. Hanging out with her during office hours while doing my work is like a motivation for me to go to work. I was happy to go to work hahahah. And also there was this office neighbor that I looked forward to meet every morning. We used to go for lunch together since when I started to say hi to her. This happened for 1 to 2 years. When MSN chat room is not a thing anymore and my office neighbor moved out, I was worried that I will not have any motivation to go to office. However, luckily during that time, I have already started to set up this foundation by focusing in building my goals and objectives. So, those changes did not affect me at all. Anyway, they are both still my friends.
Well, these points are the ones that I can remember at the moment and also the ones that I am experiencing in my life which I find it practical to share. At anytime, something else struck me, I will keep you updated. Enjoy the video!
1) Be Self-Aware. Learn to observe your own behavior and feelings.
2) Be aware of your surrounding
3) Sometimes keeping opinions to yourself is better than telling others. Why?
4) Stop comparing with others
5) Appreciate and be grateful of each and every of your accomplishments.
Listen more on Grapholistic Podcast
Podcast Transcripts are available at https://lnkd.in/gUWG65d
YouTube Live Recorded Video - https://bit.ly/3wXrtqv
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Guys, deciding to be an entrepreneur has been one of my goals since I was 15. And this is an opportunity for me to share my journey. It is one of my bucket list items which has been at the back of my mind finally came through. Since I was in school, I will enjoy those session when my schools invited ex-students to come by and give a speech of motivation to the students. And I always imagined that I will be at that position when one day I achieved my goals to be successful in my endeavors. The only school of mine I had in mine was my secondary school, not even my polytechnic. Why? Because polytechnics and universities for me are huge and in large scale. I did not expect them to call me since there are other successful individuals out there.
Another reason I was expecting probably my secondary school would call me instead is also because I am looking forward to meet the teacher I had crushed with. I hope she is still there.
So, yesterday I was one of the four panelists for one of the webinars on entrepreneurship which was conducted by the polytechnic I used to attend for my Diploma in Business Management (2003). The webinar module is about Entrepreneurs Attributes and Abilities, conducted by their senior lecturer, Benson Ong.
Frankly, I had great time especially having that opportunity to express my passion towards one of my companies, specifically Grapholistic International. I did not mentioned my other companies though cos I feel like it will be too much for the students to listen to more than one passion of mine. Furthermore, I would like to market more on my Grapholistic first especially because of its unique and not a common service. The other two companies that I owned are of common industry like books publishing and distributor.
Some of the highlights that the other panelists had shared are somewhat similar to mine throughout my journey in exploring my businesses. Attributes such as patience, sacrificing time and energy especially when like me I worked full-time for the past years in companies while after I returned home, I will spend my time planting seeds for 3 to 4 hours daily to build this company. What else? Taking risk in case what if the plans fail, and putting ideas into actions instead of procrastinating when implementing it. These are a few of those that I remember right now.
What I realized is that people are always fascinated with this science, handwriting analysis. The way it could identify someone's character accurately and its unique trait belongs to the owner of those handwriting. The responses are the reasons that normally made me more motivated to keep trying in many ways to reach more people. I used to keep this low-profile with a valid reason that I was working with another company as a full-time staff.
But now when I am in full-time mode running my businesses, and I realized that because since not many people know about this and need someone to tell them, I feel like I really need to expose myself in various media and YouTube. That is why I really put in extra effort nowadays to also show my face compared to last time. I have to let myself feel comfortable to be in videos and also in podcast. Thanks to my first few exposures (video and audio) when I was doing my podcast for my publishing company. This is my first Vlog which I do speak for my company. I mean in here you guys are used to watch me on video but for my Grapholistic's, yeah I don't do that before this.
#handwritinganalysis #graphology #handwritinganalyst #personalitygrowth #personalitydevelopment #getyourhandwritinganalyse #grapholistic #certifiedhandwritinganalyst #entrepreneurship #Journeyasanentrepreneur
Guys, I forgot to upload a write-up about my experience as a guest interviewed by Shida Osman in Adossier Podcast. The interview was about Graphology and my backstory when creating the company. It was my favorite interview so far being. The last time I was interviewed and broadcast on a radio was like a phobia for me because I hated my voice after hearing it. Soooo.. now is the Comeback!
Anyway, watch my YouTube Vlog (Podcast Guest Interview-Graphologist) below and remember to SUBSCRIBE to my YouTube Channel!! Adieus!
#podcastinterview #entrepreneurship #entrepreneurs #entrepreneurattributes #entrepreneurabilities #grapholistic #graphology #handwritinganalyst #singapore #ssulianah #personalcoaching #personalitydevelopment #personalitygrowth #success #graphologist #selfesteemdevelopment #selfesteem #confidence
Hi Everyone. 2020 has been a good ride so far. Even though everyone in the world could not avoid being affected by the impact of COVID-19, I believe that each of us has our own story that we would share with our future self.
When it happened in March 2019 where lock-downs happened in many countries including mine, it was a game changer to everything. I was at that time still working with the company I have been working with for 13 years. I couldn't believe that of all the years, this year I took the risk of leaving it and make my dreams come true. I know right? Why couldn't I wait when the economy is better? Or whatever reasons anyone could come up for me. Listen, when I decided this, I did not even talk to anyone except myself and of course the Almighty. I did not even told my dad whom I normally will inform on any of my big decisions (not always though). I did not even tell my closest colleague about this until everything has fall in place. Two of my friends who I hangout with even told me if this kind of stuff call an emergency video meeting. And I replied, I don't considered this an emergency.
The reasons to leave is always because of a trigger. I have been waiting for a trigger for the past 3 to 4 years and in fact even though it sounds negative, I think it is a positive thing that had happened in 2020 in my life. It is so funny that at the end of last year, I have asked Allah for a sign telling me whether it is worth it to stay in that company I was in for over a decade. And He gave me the sign. I took it but didn't really do anything with it.
Then, of all years, early this year I found a new employee whom I have good feelings to cover my responsibilities in the company. I have been searching for a decade but could not find any. And in May 2020, one of my ex-colleagues who is actually quite close to me in some way said something which mentioned that my ex-boss do not want me to get involved in when that role is under my responsibilities. Because he knew that if he tells me that, it is not following the law and he is worried that I will reject and disagreed. After that text, for 1 week I was furious which is not common for me. Most of the time, within 2 days my anger will subside. But this time, my mind was only focusing on leaving.
After I wrote my resignation letter, I planned everything. And instead of searching for a new job which none of it is my passion (it seems like being a general manager or country manager doesn't interest me at all), I accidentally search for a workspace and ended up a renting a 75sqft office space. I have been wanting to run my own companies full-time, seeding it since I was in secondary school. And now, I am doing it at this moment.
By the way, I would like to celebrate one of the best years I have ever had throughout my life. I am writing this just so I can remind myself to be grateful and appreciate everything that I have. In case, I will need this in the future.
Apart from that, I have finally completed editing my travel blog for Canada. Last year I had the chance to travel to the second largest country in the world during Autumn. Do read it if you are interested. It is not too in-depth on travel tips but written more like a diary this time.