That first day of the new year of 2022. Yes, the moment I knew. Even though I have yet to know your name.
The first time you smiled, I did not think of anything other than you being friendly. But when the second time you did the same while I was walking down the aisle, right after the wedding pictures, but this time with the way you look into my eyes with that tiny smile, I felt like I was in a movie when the two main characters first met in a wedding. The baby pink dress, traditional but with a modern touch enhanced your lean figure. I wonder what kind of career are you in? Ah, well, why didn't I think that you might be the groom's or bride's friends from workplace. I managed to process this analysis a few days later. Now I could understand how you looked well-dressed, simple but every fabric fits your lean and tall form. Out of the 250 people in that dining hall, only you who had captured my attention. I am not sure whether it was my calibrated radar. But if it is working, there could be five including you and a friend of yours which my radar was directed too but out of these five, only you captured my attention. While you were having your moments with your friends at the altar, I could not hold back my attention towards you. I did not even care if anyone was observing me. I did not even hide my interests from my mum who was sitting beside me, probably noticing. I saw your friend putting her hand on your shoulder while taking the pictures with the couple. I was wondering whether you were taken. Trying to gauge whether any of those guys is your partner. I caught a glimpse at your ring finger. Yap, none. Once you were done, gradually your friends made their way back to the table. I purposely took off my mask at that moment just so you can see how I looked like. I have seen how you looked like even though I don't think I can recognize you again if we ever meet outside. So, I took off my mask playing around with it like as if something was inside that was hurting my cheek. While you were walking towards my table, you had to eventually passby mine. I had to look down and away from you. Really. Yes. Just because suddenly my chest felt so full, my heart stopped beating. I could not breathe. I am not merely saying this just because I am writing a poem or my experiences. I really couldn't breathe. My chest felt like it could explode anytime. I have never felt like this before even when I had interests in people over the years. Then, you stopped and started chatting with someone. Well, I could not recalled who was that person just because my eyes were fully on you. While you were chatting, I had the courage to peek a glance at you and so I took the chance to analyse your posture and your whole being at that distance before I quickly glanced away. I wanted to memorize the way you look, and your features even though from afar just in case we meet again. That evening, the one thing I did differently than my usual was being courageous to let myself feel and not hide it away. I was not concerned if my mum noticed or those other guests saw what I was observing. But the one thing I did the same was, that was it. I tried looking for you in the internet after that and sending video messages in poetry and posts just in case you are in social media, but well so far nothing. And I don't even know your name. (Written by S.Sulianah) Follow me on Instagram @ctsulianah23 SUBSCRIBE TO MY CHANNEL YEAH! #poem #wlw #poetry To re-post these contents on your website, social media, blogs, articles, YouTube etc, please remember to cite the Author's name, S.Sulianah, and link to her website www.ctsulianah.com
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To re-post these contents on your website, social media, blogs, articles, YouTube etc, please remember to cite the Author's name, S.Sulianah, and link to her website www.ctsulianah.com
Hi Everyone! Happy New Year 2022!
I just wanna wish you all here just so we all remember that we managed to go through the pandemic years and we are still going through it again in fact with another variant. Anyway, see you all and I hope everyone is in a good shape at the end of 2022. Have fun and remember to enjoy the moments! Why focus on the present and what the future can bring to us instead of the past? And what motivates me to write this? Well, just last week during a lunch and tea meetup with my two close friends, one of them asked us this question Would you like to go back to the past to change anything? The answer for myself is Nope, definitely not. My answer was not influenced by the many 'timeline' related movies I had watched, it is more than that. On the other hand, one of my friends replied, Why not? Maybe there is something that can be changed in the past which is better for you?
I did not reply to her immediately because I did not want to sound condescending, or like as if I have all what I had been wanted in my life now. Usually whenever I had something in mind, I will make sure that whatever I am thinking or pursuing is in the right path so that is why I will do research on topics related to the issue. These are some of my main reasons I would not like to go back to my past. This decision I had made is supported by the books and articles I had read and from videos of motivational speakers in relation to similar subject.
I am looking forward to embrace these moments that I have been working on and the new experiences which are ready for me. And the answer is still No, I will not want to go back to my past and change anything that there could be/might be/possibly be etc something better for me. And yes, if I ever I go back there again, a stubborn human like me, I will repeat the same mistakes that I might not learn from it anyway. So.... See you all in 2022 instead of the 2000!! To re-post these contents on your website, social media, blogs, articles, YouTube etc, please remember to cite the Author's name, S.Sulianah, and link to her website www.ctsulianah.com Hi everyoneeee... Yesss this is my second book I had written and published this year. Following the steps of my wife, Taylor Swift. kekekkee... okay, last time I called her my gf now my wife. This is usually to test my personal preference and readiness whether I am ready for a committed relationship with a person. hahahhaa...
I wrote Be Brave: Uncensored Motivational Quotes in one sitting. Started to write everything from 11.30am to 5.30pm on one of the days in August, specifically on 5th Aug 2021. It was just an instance. I was actually still dragging to finish writing my book that I promised about journey to build self-esteem. Then, suddenly, my emotions was quite high on that day and without any thinking or pondering much, I wrote Be Brave: Uncensored Motivational Quotes. Quotes book is one of my to-do list but I did not expect to write it immediately like that. I thought that the self-esteem book will be the first to be completed. Anyway, it took me 6 hours to write the first draft, but took me like 2 weeks to finished writing the second draft before sending it for professional critique and editing and proofreading, which was a total of 4 months. The quotes were actually all in my mind for quite sometime since it linked to many different parts of my plans and life during that time. I think because I wanted to release the memories and experiences (good and bad) at the instance, which made me wrote everything easily. I had sent all the first batch of my books orders last week. Today I just sent two books to my secondary school teachers, Maths and Geography who are my favorite teachers. Their classes are the ones I always look forward to go and it always motivated me to work smart and put in effort in my studies. I will end my marketing of this book by mid of November so I can move forward to work on another projects of mine. Need to do something new just so I can progress forward every time. Please remember to support my books and follow me in social media! Also, remember to write a book review in Amazon, Goodreads and Winter Scribbler Publishing. I feel like writing about being a trustworthy person and why it is important who you let into your home, or in some cases like mine, my office. Maybe you might have noticed the theme of the book I recently wrote and published, Be Brave: Uncensored Motivational Quotes that circled on one of the most important patterns that I had observed over the years which is the importance of being a person who can be trusted. I am not talking about honesty or integrity here. This is as simple as can be trusted.
Since I was young, my mum will remind me to learn to keep secrets when friends or people tell me to. And to make sure not to tell the secrets to anyone. If they want to tell other people is fine but the stories must be not from me. Due to that, my friends usually called me as the secret keeper. They know that whatever they told me, I will never in one sentence or one word tell others. Well, it works all along and it helped me to create genuine bonds and friendships with individuals over the last two decades. The issue that I noticed here is when people just couldn't keep secrets. It is not easy to find one like a friend who could. Over the years since I was 7 years old, I had experienced many situations where individuals I met could not be trusted. Whenever I gave a person a chance, they show me their Joker card. So, usually I will ended up telling "secrets" but considered as am prepared if the secret became a headline of conversations, opinions, and sarcasms. Now I am in my late 30s, and recently had experienced a life changing moment in terms of friendship with a group of friends I used to hangout with for about ten years. I mentioned this briefly in my latest book, Be Brave: Uncensored Motivational Quotes but I could not write too detailed on that book. Over this two decades being friends with thousands of people, I have never felt agitated or feel like vomiting with anyone for a very long time. The last time someone misuses my trust was when I was 15, with one of my classmates who I used to hangout with. She was one of the reasons I told myself to be careful with people. So, the misusing of trust by this ex-friend of mine were as simple as when I told her something important for me, "Pls don't tell her first about that t-shirt she gave. I will tell her myself cos I don't want her to feel hurtful." And then the next thing I know was, the girl asked me whether my shirt does not fits me. And if you guys is coming here to shoot me saying how sensitive I am, yes, I am. Because now I am in a phase in my life (after making sure I build my self-esteem and personality for years), I cannot entertain with this kind of idiots and people who are of big mouth. If the person cannot keep a simple secret as this, do you think they can be trusted? Nope. And just so you know, this is only one incident. Within the next 3 months, similar situations happened. One of the most significant one which made me pissed off was when I told her to not tell anyone about me renting a car. I will tell them later. But definitely, the other friend knows in less than an hour. This behavior is consistent. I don't remember her doing this the last ten years because I have never told them my personal secrets and stories which I am glad I did not. And every time I speak or shared my opinions with them in conversations, at the back of my mind, there is this signal telling me to be careful with what I shared which I guessed has been accurate all the time. So, you may asked what has this got to do with not letting people you don't trust into your home? Simple. Trust your instinct when you are with anyone. For me I think I let this group of friends came to visit my parents' place years ago during a festive season once. And last year when I had my new office, not even a single moment in me telling myself to invite them to my own office. Not even once. I had planned and did invited my 3 close friends, 2 ex-colleagues and they did came. I did verbally invited one of our friends in the group, the girl who bought the t-shirt for us, just because I trusted her. Surprise isn't it? I mean apart from liking her, I trusted her more than these two friends I have been hanging out with for the last 10 years. And other than that, I invited my 2 MSc classmates randomly if they pass-by my office's area. That is all the circle of friends I really feel comfortable with. There were like 2 more friends who I used to hangout with who also 'invited themselves' to my office but I gave many excuses to avoid. Last week, I saw a post on tiktok about this topic and one of the comments were also like what I have been thinking all this while. It is more of a crime investigation post if I am not wrong or about a friend she let her stay at her home but secretly slept with her husband. Don't invite anyone that you don't trust into your home. If the person is your friend's friend who would like to drop-by to your place with your friend, but if you are not comfortable you can tell your friend, no. I went to Ottawa for a road trip with J in 2019 and she did asked me whether her friend can join in to stay overnight in the hotel with us. And I told her, no. She and her friend understood. Firstly, is because I don't know that guy. Second, the friend is a guy. Third, for my safety and also her safety. However, during the road trip we managed to create a friendship bond with each other and the guy seems fine and my instinct did not stop me from not letting him stay with us that night. So, I let him share a room for one night and he will go back home the next morning. And I had no issue with that guy or my friend too during that night and after that. As for that group of friends who I hangout with for about ten years, one night, they invited themselves to my office. Simply like that after a dinner which I had intentionally avoided to attend. Even when I insisted no don't come it is too late (9.30pm), without any shame they insisted on coming. So, this time, after ten years I used my firm demeanor which I don't usually let it out with friends. This character of mine will come out only in professional work settings. I insisted with a 'No, next time'. I know there will never be a next time, (no need for anyone to tell me). Firstly, was because I don't trust them anymore except the friend who gave us the t-shirt who was with them that night. Second, the last time we met was during the two friends' birthday celebration in November. At that time, I could feel the heaviness of the situation with them like I said I felt angry, agitated, annoyed, and feel like vomiting because that feeling of disgusted was too much. I was at that fine line of breaking no matter what, when the trigger is released. I am that kind of person, if I am a loyal friend I will take care of that friendship, but if anyone pissed me off, I will leave out everything and let them hang without even saying a thing for closure. My closure is the same as most people in friendships. Just leave, no need to explain. No need to reply texts. I mean since this is common for a normal friendship, I did the same. If I am still interested in the friendship, I will explain to the person like I had done with a number of my friends who are now my closest. If not worth it, I will leave and block people. It is okay to do this especially if you don't find it worth anymore to talk or discuss. When I tried to justify my actions, I remembered when she told me about how a group of her friends suddenly did not talk to her and exclude her from the group chats. I also suddenly remembered one of our ex-schoolmates who told me about her character. And I also remember one of my ex-squad-mates who did not talk to her. Well, I had to do this because these are the things that I ignored or tried to justify over the years. Since it doesn't change, I feel like for me personally is okay to do this. This is my life. If people want to do this to me, I am okay too. It is their life. I will not stop them to justify my actions with the unpleasant things they had heard about me. The thing about this is to usually learn to observe and not to ignore what your first feeling about the person or situation is. I had this feeling since the first time actually, and gradually it builds over the years. I kept justifying every actions of theirs and trying to change myself to be not too sensitive. But the issue is not about being sensitive. That is actually the good part. As a human, we should not, okay I can say, I do not want people with that characters to be in my life. Why should I forced myself to let them in when most part of me has been screaming telling me there is something not right? Because of all these build-up, the last thing that snapped me as always is about trust. Probably, I can close one eye on small remarks like, "Wear dress", "Gain weight", "Get married", repeating vacation stories, talking about other people, do not listen and only talk about themselves, or even their disrespectful attitude towards the service staff which happened always whenever we went out which I still don't get it. I have to rant in my own blog here just because I need to get rid of these toxic layers. Since now I am in a new better chapter of my life, I would like to get rid of these memories forever. My upcoming books and all that, I am planning to write something which is more futuristic and of more positive vibes that will be based on my research on human behavior in organisations. Anyway, I really need to talk about trust and how it linked to inviting people to your home and office, which is your sanctuary filled with personal secrets of yours. So, remember this guys. Trust your instincts and act on it. Don't just trust but you try to justify it, and then when you regret about not listening to your intuition, it is because of something else that is much more important to you in your life. For me, the most significant was trust.
So, I managed to write new poems and these are good signs of Movin' On ... This poem, The Girl with the Black Boots is the shorter version. Inspired by literally someone I saw around Oct 2020. The distinct fashion that gave me the aspiration and connection with her is her black boots, her cute bangs, that eye contact, the moment she positioned her mobile phone while having a video conversation with someone while I was sitting behind, and the way she placed her leg on her knee while she sat on the bus. To re-post these contents on your website, social media, blogs, articles, YouTube etc, please remember to cite the Author's name, S.Sulianah, and link to her website www.ctsulianah.com
Hi Everyone! I would like to share with you the best food that I had ever tried without initial planning when I travel to these countries. Usually, before I travel, I will check online the food that I should try. Most of the time, I managed to test those suggested by bloggers and articles. However, the ones that I could remember forever and are significant for me are the ones that I randomly tried while walking the streets. And I guess it is fair enough to share with you all the best food you should try whenever you are at these places. Best Pizza - ParisI have not been to Italy so don't @ me. I will try whenever I go there for my future honeymoon with my partner. But I did not expect that Paris' pizza dough to be so soft, fluffy and yummy. I tried a Halal restaurant located near a train station. Best Loaf - ParisNo arguments. This is the only french loaf or they called it the baguette in Paris that I can eat without any butter or jam. Available at their bakery and even the ones served by the hotel I was staying was a Chef's kiss. Best Duck Noodle - LondonI found this Chinese Halal duck noodle shop while I was randomly walking near a train station when I was in the city of London. The owners are from China. Wow! I have never tasted this kind of noodle even when I was in China. Best Donut - Moscow, RussiaWell, at first I was wondering why is the guy who was having his breakfast in front of my table took a big portion of the small donuts. He did not have anything else except that. Then, I took a few with some other food in the buffet. I was like Whattt???!!! So soft, light and really really good. This was at an Airport hotel a few minutes walk from Moscow International Airport. Stayed there for a day and did not expect to meet delicious donuts. I found out after that visit there is a donut shop at St. Petersburg. If I know, I will include St. Petersburg in my itinerary just to try it. Best and Largest Meringue - Moscow, RussiaYes, I found this by coincidence too when I was having my breakfast at one of the cafes near the hotel I was staying. It is huge, and really good. Not too sweet and different from those meringues I had tried in my life. Since the journey from Moscow to my country is only 8 hours, I bought quite a lot to bring back home on my last day. Best Salmon Cake - Anchorage, AlaskaI don't mind going back to Alaska just to have this Salmon Cake and Hashbrown. Yes, it was the best. I tried a few at my country after that just because I missed this, yeah no. Nothing beats this salmon cake. Best Butter - OymyakonThis butter that I tried was homemade by the owner of the home that we stayed at. It was the best butter I had ever eaten in my life and so far I have not met any of the same butter. Tell you something, me and another Italian group mate whom I met during the travel kept munching the bread with this butter throughout our last day at Oymyakon while we are all having dinner together. Best Cookies - New York CityThe best huge cookies I have ever tried is Levain Bakery at New York City. Yes. When I bought a box filled with it back home, my sister-in-law's sister told her to tell me to go back to NYC to help her but these cookies. And frankly, usually I don't do repeat travel to the same country. But I will only for this cookies. Best Roti Prata and Chapati - North IndiaThis is the most thickest and delicious prata and Chapati I have tried in my life. No one can argue with me on this. I can eat one and survive the whole day without any other food. So thick and never tasted before other than when I was in India at Delhi, Agra and Bareilly. Best Coffee - Alaska and USAHands down. These are the places that made me don't mind drinking coffee without any sugar and cream. This was when I know the other side of the coffee and made me fall in love with it. Firstly it is not thick and bitter. I tried in Canada but it was not my kind of taste though. But the coffee in Alaska, NYC, Long Beach, Los Angeles in California are really my type. Best Tea - London, UKThe tea in London was the first time that made me fall in love drinking tea without sugar or cream. Usually in my country I was introduced since I was young tea with sugar at least if I want to drink. However, when I tried the tea here it just doesn't taste as good as the ones in London and Manchester. By the way, these are the only 2 places in UK then I traveled to. So, my opinion is based on these experiences. Best Vegetables and Vegetables Soup - Ho Chi Minh, VietnamWow, this is the only place that I enjoyed having to eat vegetables like nobody's business. Their greens is another level of meals. Their rice rolls stuffed with vegetables and the soup noodles with vegetables. No one can compete with the ones I had at Ho Chi Minh, Vietnam. Best Daily Loaf Bread - DubaiI really need someone to send to me this loaf of bread. It was actually a normal bread but was the best. It looks like the wholemeal brown type of bread. I had this when I was staying at my former boss' family house. They served me with this bread most of the time and it was delicious. Unfortunately, I could not find this bread before I left the Dubai to bring back home. Best Tom Yum - ThailandWhen I say tom yum, you say Thailand. Precisely. Out of everything on this list, I think this one is connected to the country. No other tom yum in the world matches with Thailand's. After a few years since my last visit to the country, I went to Chiang Mai. And yes, they should be crowned with the best tom yum by the global food association. Best Breakfast Wrap - Shanghai, ChinaSeriously, I have no idea the name of this wrap. But it is filled with vegetables. An ex-colleague of mine bought it for me for breakfast. He is from China and I guess he knows the ins and outs of the real good food in Shanghai. The wrap is huge that I ate it in the morning and the middle of the day. Best BBQ Fish - Langkawi, MalaysiaBBQ fish is widely available when you are at Langkawi since it is at the beach. Although it was delicious, I could not finish this fish. It was delicious bbq grilled fish but it was extremely spicy. My spicy tolerance of a small chilli padi is usually at 8 or 10. But this spiciness is at level 100. Even when I ate it with rice, was not helping me at all. To re-post these contents on your website, social media, blogs, articles, YouTube etc, please remember to quote the Author's name, S.Sulianah, and link to her website www.ctsulianah.com.
![]() My rating: 5 of 5 stars "I wrote every lines and words yet when I was reading the whole book, I couldn't stop myself from saying "Fxxx You!", "Did you just used me?", "Why didn't I see this before?" and I actually shed tears at the end. Personally, I feel like this is my favorite comparing with my first published book. I guessed this is because the contents are not filtered. I wrote everything that I feel like not worrying about people guessing who it is about. Sometimes when emotion cannot be expressed to the person you have feelings for, or you feel hurt, write. And maybe you can write a song about it, or like me, I ended up writing poems and books." - S.Sulianah View all my reviews ![]() My rating: 5 of 5 stars I re-wrote this book and add in more poems for this edition. This is more of a love stories of how I fall for individuals throughout my life. Their presence and my experiences with them inspired me to write these poems. I can say that these poems are mainly censored and not that straightforward. You might be wondering who I wrote about. If you want something more uncensored, do check out my new prose and poetry book. View all my reviews ![]() My rating: 5 of 5 stars I read this book for my next book's research and I learnt a lot from understanding the different interpretation of poetry. The sound of the words in Dirty Pretty Things are gentle and pleasing. View all my reviews ![]() My rating: 5 of 5 stars I hv heard this book is a bit of fifty shades but I didn't expect what level of fifty shades it has after I read it. Got this book for my writings research and I could say that the writer is brave. Salute! View all my reviews ![]() My rating: 5 of 5 stars This is my first published book on poetry. It took me time to decide whether to publish this book as it is the engraves of my feelings and thoughts which I never share with anyone. View all my reviews ![]() My rating: 5 of 5 stars I wrote this book so I am gonna say this is one of my best or I can say my favorite book so far because the quotes relate to my experiences dealing with challenges in my life that I would like to share with readers. Am looking forward that you will look at it in a positive light and motivates you when needed. View all my reviews ![]() My rating: 5 of 5 stars I was actually worried to buy this book initially because firstly I don't think I have encountered with any psychopaths in my life and I feel like the word psychopaths is too strong to categorised people and well it does not interest me at all. Surprisingly, after reading the characters with the examples he gave in the book, I realized that actually encountered with this kind of person few months back but luckily we did not keep in contact anymore. Even her profession fits the one he highlighted on the potential of psychopaths' occupation. And yes, he uses the same concept as he had highlighted in Surrounded by Idiots. At first I thought that it will be the same kind of story but then gradually, he explained it more towards the psychopaths' behavior. Much more in-depth and feels heavier compared to Surrounded by Idiots. That is his niche which is fine for me. I have heard about these behavior and actually could pinpoint to a person whom I know, not close to me but I knew how he works. He takes advantage of women, uses their hard-earned money which these women buy their own house, get married to them and automatically this guy's name will be in the house (apparently by law even though sounds unfair), then they divorce and claimed partial of the money from the house sale for himself before moving on to another one. I didn't know this is a psychopath character though but well now I know. By the way, the overall information shared by Author is moving and you will want to know what is next. View all my reviews ![]() My rating: 5 of 5 stars I have no idea why the reviews here about this book is not good when it is the opposite. I bought this book when I came across it in Kinokuniya so I got it with Surrounded by Psychopaths. I studied Psychology and Consumer Insights and has been learning about humans' behavior and psychology for years and applying it in my career in organisations and my own companies. The author clearly highlighted he uses the DISC concept so I don't understand why there are still reviews saying that he do not link to any research and he wrote based on his experiences only. Hello! We want experiences written from Authors' personal experiences applying those research in the books they wrote. If we want fully on research we can read scholar articles in journals. He makes it simple to understand by using colors which is if you really read with an open mindset and accepting changes and ideas, it is in fact easier to remember. I couldn't remember the originals system but this I can even apply it when I analyze handwritings of my clients. Apart from that, I could also categorized my ex-colleagues behavior and characters easily by using these 4 colors. The examples he gave that linked to these colors are also helpful to relate because we need examples to understand the concept and remember how it works. View all my reviews ![]() My rating: 5 of 5 stars A great refresher and in-depth understanding of the Disruptive Strategy course which I took at HBX Harvard. Additional examples and practical real-life applications. View all my reviews |
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