In 2020 ... What Happened to Me?

Hi Everyone. 2020 has been a good ride so far. Even though everyone in the world could not avoid being affected by the impact of COVID-19, I believe that each of us has our own story that we would share with our future self. 

When it happened in March 2019 where lock-downs happened in many countries including mine, it was a game changer to everything. I was at that time still working with the company I have been working with for 13 years. I couldn't believe that of all the years, this year I took the risk of leaving it and make my dreams come true. I know right? Why couldn't I wait when the economy is better? Or whatever reasons anyone could come up for me. Listen, when I decided this, I did not even talk to anyone except myself and of course the Almighty. I did not even told my dad whom I normally will inform on any of my big decisions (not always though). I did not even tell my closest colleague about this until everything has fall in place. Two of my friends who I hangout with even told me if this kind of stuff call an emergency video meeting. And I replied, I don't considered this an emergency. 

The reasons to leave is always because of a trigger. I have been waiting for a trigger for the past 3 to 4 years and in fact even though it sounds negative, I think it is a positive thing that had happened in 2020 in my life. It is so funny that at the end of last year, I have asked Allah for a sign telling me whether it is worth it to stay in that company I was in for over a decade. And He gave me the sign. I took it but didn't really do anything with it.

Then, of all years, early this year I found a new employee whom I have good feelings to cover my responsibilities in the company. I have been searching for a decade but could not find any. And in May 2020, one of my ex-colleagues who is actually quite close to me in some way said something which mentioned that my ex-boss do not want me to get involved in when that role is under my responsibilities. Because he knew that if he tells me that, it is not following the law and he is worried that I will reject and disagreed. After that text, for 1 week I was furious which is not common for me. Most of the time, within 2 days my anger will subside. But this time, my mind was only focusing on leaving. 

After I wrote my resignation letter, I planned everything. And instead of searching for a new job which none of it is my passion (it seems like being a general manager or country manager doesn't interest me at all), I accidentally search for a workspace and ended up a renting a 75sqft office space. I have been wanting to run my own companies full-time, seeding it since I was in secondary school. And now, I am doing it at this moment. 

​By the way, I would like to celebrate one of the best years I have ever had throughout my life. I am writing this just so I can remind myself to be grateful and appreciate everything that I have. In case, I will need this in the future. 

1. Left the company I have been working in for 13 years and venture to a new foreign environment. Taking this big risk. Of all years, this year. Because I know if COVID doesn't happen and there is no lock down, my mind and days will be filled with work and work that I could not stop and think straight. 
   
   
2. I took the opportunity to work on my own companies, Grapholistic International (Founded in 2005), Winter Scribbler Publishing (Founded in 2017), Oceans Twenty-Three Enterprise (Recently setup in 2020); Upcoming media production company (On the midst)
   
   
3. I had committed to renting an office space. In my whole life, I never do this. Rent a big ticket item or buy a big ticket item except for investing in travelling and my Bachelor and Masters. 
   
   
4. Got to spend more time with my friends during office hours because they are working from home while I am working for myself. Tai Tai!!
   
   
5. Be honest and wrote a letter to someone who I was in love or am interested in for seven years and said everything I wanted to say. I decided to write this was because it was an overwhelming feelings that time, and after writing it, the burden was from 100 to 1. She might hate me and will affect our friendship, but I had to. And now I am on a 6 months "rehab" to not meeting her just so I can get over her and move on. It will go well. 
   
   
6. Published my second book. This new prose poetry book is a love letter-like with poems written without filters. I am delighted it is releasing by Dec 2020 but also this is another risk. I was uncomfortable at first for deciding to publish it. Was asking myself if this will affect my life. But I could avoid that by not promoting it in my personal social media account. So, I had solved that part. #lettersofathousandspeeches #prosepoetrybook #ssulianah
   
   
7. Broadcast a podcast. Another uncomfortable decision. Firstly is because the contents are of no filter which is out of my comfort zone, and secondly, I cringe whenever I listened to my own voice or look at myself in videos. But this time, I managed to overcome it.
   
   Thank you to a friend whom I have never met but we knew each other through a course I took by Harvard HBX. Aalok owns his own production company and has been doing a number of podcasts in NYC. I requested him to look into my first episode to review and give me an honest feedback. And the only comment he said that I should look into is the echo of my background. I told him about my concerns regarding my voice and how I disliked it and he laughed. Aalok said no one likes to hear their own voice at first. Check out his podcasts. It is aspiring and motivate you in some way. He has guests for his podcast from different industries and backgrounds which will inspire you to achieve your goals and find your purpose in life. The Afflatus and Love without Borders
   
   That is when it motivates me to go ahead with broadcasting all the episodes of my first podcast. He also commented that my content is different and how I managed to play with my voice when reading the poems and speaking normally. Then, the only thing I need to resolve was the location. Luckily I found a podcast studio by Hive Co-working space, cos if not I was one more step to building my own vocal booth in my rented office. Women Love Women (WLW) Podcast is now available in Spotify, Apple, Google, Anchor.fm Podcasts #WLWPodcast #WomenLoveWomen #LGBTQ #Lesbianrelationship  
   
   
8. And also I would like to remind my future self that for the first time, Taylor Swift published 2 albums in 2020 and in different genre. This time alternative. Surprise? Neh (yes!). I will still be surprised forever even though we can expect that she will always have something up her sleeves. The year when artists were not active because of Covid-19. Her 2 albums, folklore and evermore are a masterpiece as usual. On repeat in my playlist. And I cannot believe it that her last song in evermore, 'it's time to go' is as how I ended my poem for my latest book, Letters of a Thousand Speeches, ... "this time I let you go". I told Taylor this coincidence in private message but she didn't reply. 
   
   
9. Lastly, of all years since the last Pitch Perfect 3, the #bechloe kiss was leaked in twitter for us #bechloe fans when we least expected it. This was around December 2020. Way to end the year with a positive note for us all. Thank you to Anna Kendrick and Brittany Snow for that WOW!kiss. We ship you both forever! And thanks to Rebel Wilson and all the Pitch Perfect casts who kept pushing this video to be out for the fans.